I got involved because I wanted to make a difference in my role (Unit Welfare Officer) and selfishly, for me. I wanted to have a toolkit to be able to work better.

I joined the army at 16 and was on my first op at 18. I did tours all over – the Gulf, Bosnia, Northern Ireland, Iraq and Afghanistan – I lost 8 soldiers there, 6 in one day. I still have that date tattooed on my arm. All that stuff has an impact on you, it builds. In 2013, I went to be a commissioned officer and I had a breakdown, and another one in 2015. I went to a mental health practitioner, but I ended up getting re-traumatised through treatment. I was running at 9,000 rpm. I lost my focus, drive and sense of humour.

Warrior has allowed me to really understand myself as a human being. It’s cleared the fog. The experience on the course was completely unexpected. It’s reset my mind back to 20 plus years ago when I was happier. Me and my wife were never happier than when I was a Lance Corporal and life seemed simpler. Now we’re back there. The course has taken out almost all of the stress. I used to go to a very dark place. Now it’s filled with chinks of light. It’s life changing. The thing is that you don’t have to say anything about what’s happened to you if you don’t want to. It’s so powerful. I found myself crying. The limiting decision that I realised was colouring everything was that I thought I had a dirty soul, that I wasn’t good enough. It went back to when I was 3 and I had an eye patch for my eyesight. The impact of that was that I’ve been utterly paranoid about what people thought of me, without realising it really.

Now I no longer have to feel that way. I had a lightbulb moment, like someone had whipped the collar off me. I don’t do road rage or shout at the kids now. I almost lost them. Now I haven’t. My wife thinks I’m a different human being. I went home on day one full of it, running around like a spaniel. We had crossed wires and almost cross words – you have to remember that your family aren’t having the same experience and changes.

I want to go to the refresher courses and I’ll take time off work to do that because it’s important. All the staff are fabulous and Zoe and Beccy are a winning team, absolutely right for the job and you warm to them straight away.

If I can help one young person to go on Warrior and it shapes one young life, then I’ve succeeded in what I want to do. We do a lot of equipment care (EC) in the army. Warrior is EC for blokes – that’s what I call it! We need to train and equip mentally as well as physically. Why wouldn’t you invest in yourself? Especially when other people and the service takes so much from you.